How to write a Best Seller

To write a good book,

A gripping aga saga,

Begin with a middle aged woman,

Whose Mother is going gaga.

She catches a bus to the library,

‘cause her books are overdue,

Then she goes to the park to feed the ducks,

and think her marriage through.

She picks a flower from the floral clock,

Though she knows it’s a venial sin,

And then overcome with guilt and remorse,

She tries to stick it back in.

Then she goes back home to make marmalade,

According to Delia Smith,

It’s a complicated recipe,

Involving both flesh and pith.

So the gardener comes into the kitchen,

To help her chop the rind,

And it certainly gets exciting,

When he rogers her from behind!